tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post2727613317855845944..comments2023-08-25T05:50:04.996-07:00Comments on 38 weeks and counting: What A Difference A Month Can MakeRenelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490888250385942221noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-65925626779240005942013-03-01T21:49:51.270-08:002013-03-01T21:49:51.270-08:00I find myself with a split personality that will n...I find myself with a split personality that will never meet up again. The Before and After, no longer whole, but completely here.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-79370466033350351052013-02-26T21:19:47.475-08:002013-02-26T21:19:47.475-08:00Renel that is all so much to deal with at once. T...Renel that is all so much to deal with at once. This much is true, though: you will get more sleep at some point and feel so much better. Never 100% better because we never get that again, but so much better with more sleep. Hugs to you.SGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10751681504123990038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-62969907842247923572013-02-19T09:30:04.057-08:002013-02-19T09:30:04.057-08:00I've been thinking about this and you and your...I've been thinking about this and you and your family for two days and I wanted to write something in response, but I am tired and I can't seem to come up with the words. Sending love. Mama Bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15448908179398529689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-6733171500739774582013-02-18T11:21:21.457-08:002013-02-18T11:21:21.457-08:00Xo I am thinking of you, I too dont want to leave ...Xo I am thinking of you, I too dont want to leave Severus for a second, I feel so worried all the time that something may happen. I also over anaylize everything now like I have to do it all perfect, I hope you get rest soon ps my computer is fritzing and I cant type alot or correct on this iphone, hence also why i havent commented or posted much latelymichellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07960223886511130664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-18864141155595354042013-02-18T07:15:48.004-08:002013-02-18T07:15:48.004-08:00I don't much like to give into the thought pro...I don't much like to give into the thought process that our lives have been planned and all that... because to think that when I was born, I was predestined to have a dead baby? I can barely breathe thinking about it. <br /><br />But Kai. That boy most definitely was your perfect fate. While losing Camille is undoubtedly impossible for your heart, Kai sure did carry your heart on his shoulders. He just has no idea how perfectly made he is.<br /><br />I loved reading that chain of events: We love each other. So we had Kai. Loved Kai, so we had Camille...<br /><br />It's beautiful. And those babies we crave to hold? They are just another representation of our love and it's hard to believe we cannot hold them and that dream.B. Wilson @ Windy {City} Wilsonshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17479551028143520755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-73348187123128294032013-02-17T22:54:06.873-08:002013-02-17T22:54:06.873-08:00The thought of leaving my 3 year old to work makes...The thought of leaving my 3 year old to work makes me want to hyperventilate. It's like I have to be there for every minute of her life to help with the pain of all the moments I'll never have with my Tinies. <br /><br />The nurse warned me, just as we were leaving the hospital with our first loss, how different men and women handle this kind of thing. She said numerous times to be gentle and understanding with each other. I didn't really get it then, but she was so very right. Ameliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07115154893444857726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-89180192813340407982013-02-17T22:09:38.726-08:002013-02-17T22:09:38.726-08:00yes, renel, yes - all of this.
I thought of you...yes, renel, yes - all of this. <br /><br />I thought of you the other night, because we had roast potatoes for dinner. The next night, I found the leftover potatoes. Not in the refrigerator. They were in their glass leftover container that I packed them into when we were done with dinner - and apparently put back into the cupboard that holds the glass leftover containers. wth. <br /><br />I keep wishing Fresno was just a little little little bit closer to Oakland so we could take walks together. <br /><br />xosarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15316131078833658090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-8043197442689812812013-02-17T18:16:21.697-08:002013-02-17T18:16:21.697-08:00"I feel like a Foo Dog standing guard over th..."I feel like a Foo Dog standing guard over them, mouth open, teeth barred."<br /><br />So true. I feel like I live in fight or flight, and too often, my teeth are barred and I am ready to shed blood. <br /><br />I woke up this morning in such a similar puzzle - who am I anymore? I don't even recognize my internal landscape, and here I am, throwing around knives and swords and weapons like I even know what I'm doing, where I'm going, or how to use any of it. And from an objective standpoint, life is pretty good, isn't it? You have your beautiful family and your great career! But I totally get it. Most of the time I feel like my.life.just.sucks. But how can I feel that way? I have so many things that I've dreamed about and more. <br /><br />Try to find some time to just take care of yourself. Massage? Acupuncture to relieve stress? A nap? Be gentle with yourself, my friend <3 It's good to hear from you <3<br /> <br /><br /><br /><br />Suzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01955054876521178314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-22028164256449224482013-02-17T01:01:07.690-08:002013-02-17T01:01:07.690-08:00Sending you big love my dear friend. There is a lo...Sending you big love my dear friend. There is a lot in here to wade through, but all of it familiar.<br />xoHope's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04984543289642681339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-36887246417085982302013-02-16T22:35:08.390-08:002013-02-16T22:35:08.390-08:00"My main focus is keeping my children alive w... "My main focus is keeping my children alive which is no small task when viewed from the eyes of those who have failed at that job."<br /><br />I totally get the statement above. I feel I have failed at that job too...and, in a way, I am waiting to fail again...I want to write those words in tiny print (like a whisper) but not possible in comments. <br /><br />Regarding losing weight please buy Trim Healthy Mama by Serene Allison and Pearl Barrett. It's been really good for me. I only gained 5 lbs this pregnancy and I am almost 34 weeks. I am not bloated (except in the belly department) and everyone says I'm looking really good. Which could mean that my eyes aren't puffy and red or any number of things but I know I'm feeling better (physically) this pregnancy than any other, and this is my fifth. Emotionally, not so good. But physically, great. And that is at least something...I guess the proof will be in the pudding when baby is born (hopefully alive) and the weeks following the birth. <br /><br />It was so nice to get a post from you. I've missed you.<br />Em <br />Emhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11910371746336686970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-35745325067909358742013-02-16T19:25:07.120-08:002013-02-16T19:25:07.120-08:00I love wondering where your love will bring you ne...I love wondering where your love will bring you next. I wonder the same for my family.<br /><br />Oh that Kai. He is an amazing boy becuase his parents enabled him to be so. The more you share about him, the more even I love him! :)<br /><br />Let those tears come. Along with them there is always some healing, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time.Carolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00101380791416834049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-13088071376296854632013-02-16T14:48:02.392-08:002013-02-16T14:48:02.392-08:00Thank Goodness I'm not the only one who feels ...Thank Goodness I'm not the only one who feels like no one else can keep Grace safe the way I am.. The way my husband expects me to, yet I feel he isn't doing it "quite right". It's hard to do it all and something has to give- just hate that it's us, you know? :/<br /><br />Kai is such a special boy. I love him.Lj82https://www.blogger.com/profile/01067562341189588336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-69045540510700363952013-02-16T14:28:55.436-08:002013-02-16T14:28:55.436-08:00What a month you have had...hang in there. I know ...What a month you have had...hang in there. I know it is so hard to juggle "life" in general let alone the "new" life we were chosen to live when we lost our little ones. <br /><br />My hubby and I are having our issues as well for the first time ever, and the reality is when you are exhausted and tired it is hard to do everything. I think they sometimes forget that because we are supposed to be superwoman...damn problem is grief still lingers and sucks what little energy we have at the worst possible times. Keep your head up...sounds like you guys need a little family vacation. <br /><br />BTW- the amount of germs being passed around my house is iNSANE...we have had the plague go through twice...living nightmare for Mommy!!!<br /><br />Darceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11815399702690690011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-60837276630982818942013-02-16T13:49:35.703-08:002013-02-16T13:49:35.703-08:00That is a lot. Be gentle on yourself. I have lost ...That is a lot. Be gentle on yourself. I have lost a lot of my definition since losing Georgie, and even since having Davey. I know exactly what you mean about other things falling away because you are focused so damn hard on keeping that baby alive. It exhausts me too.<br /><br />It gets me to the point where I'm like a Foo Dog against my own husband. <br /><br />On those days, I remind myself to find someone I trust (there are three) to watch Davey during the day so Dave and I can get away and breathe together and just spend time together. That helps a lot. <br /><br />You and I are both mama bears. And have every right to be. But we have to be careful about protecting those we love from the fallout of that sometimes.<br /><br />Hoping you get a little rest. Try to nap on Saturday or Sunday and let hubs is with Harlow. That's what I do, because nighttime is sleeping gets knocked out by the constant fear most of the time.katie illingworthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03586049654494206137noreply@blogger.com