tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post3049117793444419923..comments2023-08-25T05:50:04.996-07:00Comments on 38 weeks and counting: The HapsRenelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08490888250385942221noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-9968926921433766502011-08-24T22:06:12.701-07:002011-08-24T22:06:12.701-07:00What a beautiful letter. I am sure that he was to...What a beautiful letter. I am sure that he was touched by the fact that in the midst of your grief that you took time to let him know how much his care for you impacted your experience. I wish no one had to go through what you did but for everyone who does I wish that they had a doctor as compassionate as you. We also had a wonderful OB to care for us during our son's delivery and subsequent death and more recently with the birth of our daughter. It makes a world of difference to be surrounded by people who actually care.<br /><br />Remembering Camille with you.briannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03703767053224975771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-3014512916465092932011-08-24T04:12:27.219-07:002011-08-24T04:12:27.219-07:00Your letter is absolutely perfect. That line, ther...Your letter is absolutely perfect. That line, there is a difference between providing care and caring, will stay with me for a long time. My husband is a Nurse Anesthetist. You articulate that very well. The care we get during our losses colors the way we see our experience. For me, my midwives and the nursing staff at the hospital were so kind, compassionate and caring, that I actually think of Lucia's birth as beautiful. Sending love. xostill life angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15150141781089602529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-12409087458591396032011-08-22T20:45:07.973-07:002011-08-22T20:45:07.973-07:00It does make a huge difference to have care givers...It does make a huge difference to have care givers who actually CARE. You know, because that is kinda in their job description. But so many just don't, or at least have a crap way of showing it.<br />We too were told to wait 3-6 months but that was more for "mental" reasons. Physically, they could give me no good reason why I should wait, so we started trying again immediately. Mother Nature had other ideas and it took us six months (six longest fucking months of my life) but it ended up being a good thing, I can say now with the benefit of hindsight.<br />Your letter is beautiful and I'll be working on one similar for the obs who cared for me in Juliet's pregnancy. Honestly, I'd have been lost without them.<br />Love to you, and remembering Camille. Thanks also for wishing me well this week when I know the news must have stung just a little bit. I wish I could take that pain away for you.<br />xoHope's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04984543289642681339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-55507819801434229252011-08-22T12:23:07.023-07:002011-08-22T12:23:07.023-07:00Your doctor sounds like a godsend. I totally agre...Your doctor sounds like a godsend. I totally agree, having a doctor that sees the humanity and the craptacular sadness in losing a baby is really important. My perinatologist cried with us at our first postpartum appointment (it was the first time I had met him, since I hadn't been high-risk in my pregnancy but it was my hospital's policy to do a postpartum appt with a peri after a full term loss) and it immediately won me over....I have been equally impressed with him throughout my care subsequently.<br /><br />I was also given that "1 year" waiting guideline, shortened to 6 months because I'm on the older side of things, and then was told "start trying at 4 months if you really feel like you need to..." My PP physical recovery was long and hard enough that four months felt like an appropriate amount of time at least to physically resume the process...<br /><br />I always ripped up the depression scale questionnaires at my appts after Otis's death - it just didn't seem right to call what I was feeling "depression" (I've been diagnosed with depression before, and the grief was significantly different, even though they symptoms were the same.) My therapist lowered her expectations to "Are you getting out of bed? Eating at least one meal a day? Are you dressed? Showered? Even 5 out of 7 days of the week? OK, that's enough."<br /><br />The period of time 6 weeks to maybe 18 or 20 weeks following Otis's death was probably the most difficult for me, and it helped me to hear from other mamas that I wasn't alone on that timeline. I felt like something was wrong with me that I wasn't getting "better" and I felt like I was getting WORSE. Thankfully I had other mamas further down the path that let me know that that was pretty normal, at least based on their experience...<br /><br />Sending lots of love.sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15316131078833658090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-69320004808010359652011-08-22T04:34:40.559-07:002011-08-22T04:34:40.559-07:00Your OB sounds lovely and it does make a vast diff...Your OB sounds lovely and it does make a vast difference to be looked after by a doctor who is compassionate and genuine. I do like the fact that he told you that he did not follow his own advice!<br /><br />I'm sure that he really appreciated the letter you wrote to him xCatherine Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01618295389400457254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-26809405895041296712011-08-21T18:29:09.723-07:002011-08-21T18:29:09.723-07:00It's so wonderful that you have a doctor who c...It's so wonderful that you have a doctor who cares. It really does make all the difference in the world. Our OB was amazing- cried with us, came first thing the morning after I delivered so I could leave the hospital and get home, checked on me AND my hubby, and she was even at Aiden's memorial service. Not sure what we would have done without her.<br /><br />So nice that you were able to tell your doctor how much you appreciated him. <br /><br />I hope you are able to have a few little moments of peace......xoxoNatashahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10184755821618457912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-78008962065339708732011-08-21T15:36:10.852-07:002011-08-21T15:36:10.852-07:00It makes such a difference to have a doctor who ac...It makes such a difference to have a doctor who actually gives a crap, yes? I was in the hospital so long that several doctors were with me on two rotations. They all cried with me and, when I was subsequently pregnant not two months later (erm, oops), they were so good to me then, too. <br /><br />I'm sure your doctor loved getting that letter--he sounds absolutely wonderful. Thinking of you lots these days.<br />xoMary Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12212750107782259674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-42894848034853987312011-08-21T12:44:39.509-07:002011-08-21T12:44:39.509-07:00I know all about the humor and all about how incre...I know all about the humor and all about how incredibly sad this really is. And unfair.<br /><br />It's wonderful that he is supportive and that honestly fills my heart to know he cared enough to come in when he was not scheduled to deliver Camile. The doctor who delivered my son will be no where near my future children. I thought she was insensitive and ugly about the whole process. And when I found out I was miscarrying in their office 6 months later, she walked in and said, "Why am I always the one that has to deliver (yes, DELIVER) you with bad news?" Yeah, no joke. I didn't realize I was inconveniencing the b*tch. Sorry to bother you. Regardless, I am exclusive, now, to another woman in the practice who came in twice during my hospitalization post-stillbirth to see me and consult about my next pregnancy and offer he condolences. She sat on my hospital bed with me, massaged my leg and cried. With me. Now that's a freaking doctor. So from now on I have vowed never to see another OB in that practice except her. <br /><br />And the whole sadness thing, yep. We'll always be sad. No anti-depressant is going to make that kind of sad go away. :(B. Wilson @ Windy {City} Wilsonshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17479551028143520755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2095278209647200124.post-67307947588351940072011-08-21T12:20:50.591-07:002011-08-21T12:20:50.591-07:00I love that your doctor is so supportive... And to...I love that your doctor is so supportive... And to tell you the "official" guidelines, then tell you he too broke them, that's awesome.<br /><br />I'm hoping for some happiness for you, when you're ready. xoxLj82https://www.blogger.com/profile/01067562341189588336noreply@blogger.com