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My second child and our first daughter, Camille, died and was born on June, 30 2011 when I was full term at 38 weeks pregnant. I gave birth to my rainbow baby, a second daughter, on August 31, 2012. This is me trying to figure out how to be a mother to my living son and daughter and function in society after our tragic loss.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Sweet and Salty

I remember last year, around this time, I was in the darkest of despair. I still felt like I couldn't breathe. I was in a very very sad place after Camille died and I felt as though my life would never get better. I wasn't sleeping, I cried constantly. I read blogs CONSTANTLY. I felt so alone. I remember finding a post on Kate Inglis' blog Sweet Salty. I follow her on blogger but honestly I don't read her posts all the time...but...there was this one post Abide With Me: A Walk To Remember that was so profound and I would read it over and over. Last month I went looking for it, searching through her archives so I could read it over and over again. At almost a year and a half since Camille's death I still find it profound and deeply moving. In light of yesterday's tragedy at the elementary school in Connecticut I hope this will be a read that will help someone's heart the way it has mine.

She recently did a TED talk and it is also amazing and so I am giving the links here so that you can read and listen as well.

Light and love to you all.

5 comments:

  1. I'm very glad that you've found words that provide solace, Renel. This tragedy has stirred up so many emotions, and I feel incredibly heart-broken for those parents. The sad, dark times they are facing....oh, it just makes me cry. And I cry for you and your Camille, too. xoxo

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  2. I love what Kate writes. She was the first BLM I connected with after Eliza died and she sent me the link to that walk to remember speech and I read it over and over again. Thank you for posting this. I needed to read it again today.

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  3. What a beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing it. I was connecting with each and every word.

    I will read again and again.

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  4. I hope this christmas you have more joy and love! XOXOXO Still think of you often and hope you are doing ok! I am horrible at blogging now, I have so much to say yet no words come out...
    Sending you love!

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