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My second child and our first daughter, Camille, died and was born on June, 30 2011 when I was full term at 38 weeks pregnant. I gave birth to my rainbow baby, a second daughter, on August 31, 2012. This is me trying to figure out how to be a mother to my living son and daughter and function in society after our tragic loss.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Once In A Blue Moon Baby

I know many of you have been waiting for my update. Our daughter Harlow Karrington Katoch was born on August 31st at 1:04pm. She is 5# 8oz abd 18 inches. Born at 36 weeks 6 days of gestation. I can't figure out how to post pictures on blogger from my phone so that will have to wait until I am home with a computer. I feel so relieved and happy that she is here and alive. She is breathing well, nursing and trying to figure out how to be outside her hot tub. She looks just like Kai and Camille. I have had amazing nurses who laugh and cry with me and some of my nurses from my birth with Camille. A nurse I had the night before Harlow was born is a baby loss mama herself. She lost twin sons at 24 weeks 8 years ago. We got to talk about our children and have a good cry. I feel like Camille's memory is respected and loved while Harlow is welcomed into the world and that feels right. I also am pretty stoked she was born on a blue moon. That feels magical. I have so much to say and I can hardly see straight from no sleep so I hope what I wrote is coherent. Thank you for all the love and support. It means more than I could ever express. My rainbow baby is here and I am so happy about that. What a long hard fought journey to get here. I will write soon and post pictures. One more night here and than home tomorrow. I love my family of five that is missing one. Tears of love and loss intermingled.

35 comments:

  1. Oh I am so glad that I checked to see the wonderful news about Harlow. SO SO wonderful that she is safe and healthy and doing well! I am sending lots of love to your beautiful family of five.

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  2. :) This makes me so happy. :) Welcome sweet baby girl. You have been so wanted.

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  3. Welcome Harlow. What a gorgeous name - just perfect. Can't wait to see her beautiful face - I bet she is just as precious as her two siblings. So happy to hear of her safe arrival. I know you will have lots of wonderful and lots of sad emotions to sort through . . on top of all those crazy hormones. :)

    Congrats sweet family. You did it.

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  4. I am so happy for you.

    Takes my breath away. Welcome Harlow. What a beautiful name. You are so loved and wanted. Thank you babe, for making it for mama!!

    Congratulations Renel. You made it. She made it.

    Your post was beautiful. I'm so happy Camille's memory was there, with the nurses, and in your space while welcoming Harlow. Magical. Yes. It's all so magical.

    Sending love!

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  5. Welcome little sister. You have been anxiously awaited.

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  6. I am so happy to hear the news of Harlow's arrival. I'm so happy that she is with you in your arms and part of your family of 5. Can't wait to see pictures of your sweet little girl. Thoughts and hugs. Di xx

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  7. Ahhhhh. Big sigh of relief. Congratulations, Renel! I'm so happy you have little Harlow safe in your arms.

    Glad, too, that you had such a special birth experience. I wonder if your nurse became a Labor & Delivery RN before or after losing her babies? I think it would be so difficult to work in that specialty after going through what she did.

    Looking forward to seeing pics of Miss Harlow, and always, always remembering your Camille. xo

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  8. Rejoicing with all of you. I am just so very happy.
    xo

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  9. So happy for you Renel and what a beautiful name. I hope you are finally feeling a little relief and can breathe a little easier. Congratulations!!!

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  10. Welcome Baby Harlow! So happy and relieved and overwhelmed with emotion with you. Lots of love friend--can't wait to see pics. Many hugs and kisses out to you and your family!
    xo

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  11. How wonderful to hear the sound of relief in your voice! I'm so hold things are going well! Blue moon baby--too cool! Keep us posted!!!!! Sending lots of love! So happy for y'all!

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  12. Welcome second daughter, beautiful rainbow. Mama, get some sleep! Love to you all!

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  13. Welcome sweet Harlow! Happy day!

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  14. Wonderful news!!!! Welcome baby Harlow :)

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  15. I am thrilled at Harlow's safe and auspicious arrival. Much love to your whole family <3

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  16. I am so happy for you! Hi Harlow :)!xoxoxo

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  17. Oh, Renel!

    After *everything* - Harlow!

    I don't think I have taken a breath since I read the post before this one.

    So, so, so glad for you.

    And so remembering your Missing One.

    Much love,

    CiM

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  18. Welcome little sister Harlow! She is beautiful Renel. Sending so much love xx

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  19. Welcome little Harlow! And congratulations on her safe arrival. Sending you all love <3

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  20. What wonderful news, so very glad to read that Harlow arrived safe and sound.

    I'm glad you had such lovely nurses. I had a lady look after me in the hospital with R who had also had an extremely premature little girl, she was a very comforting presence to me. I'm glad you had those ladies looking after you, from Camille's birth.

    Sending love to you, a very warm welcome to little Harlow and always remembering her big sister, Camille xo

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  21. Congrats to you and your family, you did a great job of getting her here safely! I love h
    er name!!

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  22. Welcome Harlow! So very happy to hear your good news.

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  23. Such a relief! I love, love, love that she looks like Kai & Camille. She fits right in.

    It sounds like a wonderful blend of joy in welcoming Harlow and also reverence in honoring Camille. My heart is so very happy for you and your family. So much love to you guys.

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  24. THANK GOD!!! Oh Renel, I'm so glad I didn't read this until after Harlow arrived safe and sound. I would freaked the f*** out and done you no good at all. Since low fluid levels is basically what caused Anna's death - and I was sent to be induced with a cervix softener, etc as if all would be fine. Augh!! I'm wigged out just having read it even though I know it turned out fine. Thank the lord...it does work out sometimes.
    I'm so happy for you. So happy the pregnancy is over, all the stress and fear can be laid to rest in light of new wonderful stresses and utter exhaustion. Lovely exhaustion. :)
    Yay! So very thrilled for you, truly.

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  25. Congratulations! Welcome to the world, baby Harlow. So glad you both are healthy and indeed how magical it is that she was born on a blue moon. It was meant to be!

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  26. I'm so relieved, and so excited for you. That is just the best news. Welcome, baby Harlow. Rest up, Renel, and enjoy every moment. Can't wait to see pictures. xx

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  27. Oh, welcome Harlow! I hope you get some rest, Renel. Love to all your family of five.

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  28. So glad you are on this side of your rainbow. Welcome, Harlow!

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  29. I missed this post, but saw pictures on Instagram and read the news. YAY! A blue moon baby...how amazing. How incredible she is. Love to you, Renel.

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  30. Congratulations on the arrival of sweet little Harlow!! xoxoxo

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  31. Congrats!!!! So excited for you guys! Love the name Harlow.

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  32. Yea Harlow! Love her name, love her already, love that you are done with pregnancy, love that she came on the blue moon! Once in a blue moon thing do go our way! yea yea yea yea! Started crying when i read your post, so so so happy she is in your arms!

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  33. Wonderfully joyous news!

    Welcome to a very special little girl. Maybe one day, when she's older, she'll read this and understand just how loved she is - just like her brother and sister.

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