About Me

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My second child and our first daughter, Camille, died and was born on June, 30 2011 when I was full term at 38 weeks pregnant. I gave birth to my rainbow baby, a second daughter, on August 31, 2012. This is me trying to figure out how to be a mother to my living son and daughter and function in society after our tragic loss.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

It's Time

I'm here in the hospital. It isn't what I thought I was going to be doing today. I went to the perinatologist this morning and my fluid level is very low. My peri who I really love and trust told me that I should have the baby this by the Monday. Although my fluid levels have been low normal for a couple months, they dropped to a 4 and below 5 is not good. The peri and my OB spoke and my OB said to come in today... They aren't messing around. So I scrambled around as if I was in labor trying to pack stuff up in order to come in. They are putting me on cervadil because my body isn't one for preterm labor so they have to soften my cervix before they induce me. I've repeated positive thoughts and breathing all day, trying to keep the worry and anxiety at bay. Please keep my baby girl and I in your thoughts today, this evening and tomorrow. I can use all the positive vibes I can get.
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38 comments:

  1. VeronicaAugust 30, 2012 at 4:54 PM

    Renel! Oh Renel
    I'm here. I've been thinking of you, and you better believe I'm not going to stop now.

    A few weeks/days earlier than planned is better than ... the unspeakable.

    I'm breathing with you. Praying with you. Meditating on this very special girl and her safe arrival.

    Positive vibes, and so much love sending your way
    I will be checking in like crazy over the next 24 hours

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  2. still life angieAugust 30, 2012 at 5:26 PM

    EEEEP! Positive mojo coming your way. Burning sage and lighting candles and praying to the moon--welcoming your baby into our community. Sending you grounding and lots of love!

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  3. MelissaAugust 30, 2012 at 5:27 PM

    So many positive thoughts and prayers coming your way. It is all for your sweet little girl, you can do it Mama!

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  4. (JIN) Love, Loss & LacquerAugust 30, 2012 at 6:23 PM

    You've got this Renel

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  5. RachelAugust 30, 2012 at 6:29 PM

    holding you and your baby girl in my heart. You are going to be holding her very, very soon.

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  6. PaulaAugust 30, 2012 at 6:41 PM

    Thinking of you. Can't wait to see pictures of your new baby girl. <3

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  7. SuzanneAugust 30, 2012 at 6:46 PM

    Oh, Renel, I'm so happy for you. Sending lots of love and light your way. Prayers for a cooperative cervix and a rock star uterus, and a perfect little girl in your arms very soon <3

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  8. Lj82August 30, 2012 at 6:50 PM

    It's definitely time. I went through what you did the day I had Grace... I just... couldn't do it any longer.

    Will be thinking of you momma!!!

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  9. MollyAugust 30, 2012 at 6:55 PM

    Oh tears!!! Happy ones. And nervous ones bc I know how you are feeling right now. I'm so glad they acted quickly! Let's get her here safely! You will be on the forefront of my brain until I hear again! Love to you, your hubs, your son and your girls. Love you!!!!

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  10. BreeAugust 30, 2012 at 7:05 PM

    Sending you lots of love!

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  11. AnonymousAugust 30, 2012 at 7:24 PM

    You got this momma. We are all so excited to welcome this baby girl with you. Will be thinking of you lots, wishing for the very best outcome.

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  12. FlorineAugust 30, 2012 at 8:13 PM

    Thinking of you Renel! Sending you all the best baby-having vibes!

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  13. B. Wilson @ Windy {City} WilsonsAugust 30, 2012 at 8:24 PM

    Anxious and supporting. You have it in you. Love to you, Renel.

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  14. Josh JacksonAugust 30, 2012 at 9:28 PM

    Peace to you Renel...

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  15. JulieAugust 30, 2012 at 11:16 PM

    Sending love and positive energy!

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  16. AmeliaAugust 30, 2012 at 11:46 PM

    Sending light and love to you and her.

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  17. March is for daffodilsAugust 31, 2012 at 12:04 AM

    Oh, thinking so many positive thoughts for you and your baby girl...

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  18. March is for daffodilsAugust 31, 2012 at 12:04 AM

    Oh, thinking so many positive thoughts for you and your baby girl...

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  19. Hope's MamaAugust 31, 2012 at 2:39 AM

    Crap how did I miss this! Sending love and strength to you, my dear friend.
    You are a brave strong mama, and you can do this.
    xo

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  20. DarceyAugust 31, 2012 at 3:17 AM

    SO excited for you...i did the cervadil route and it worked magnificently. Can't wait to hear the great news. Thinking of you non-stop and sending you lots of stregnth...you can do this!!!

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  21. Mary BethAugust 31, 2012 at 3:23 AM

    Lots of love Renel--you can do this. She's coming. For real. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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  22. BrookeAugust 31, 2012 at 3:32 AM

    So much hope and anticipation here. Sending love and peace your way, and eagerly awaiting good news of this baby girl's arrival.

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  23. Ms JAugust 31, 2012 at 4:51 AM

    Wishing you all the luck and love in the world. Waiting in anticipation for your news. You are in the thoughts of so many people around the world. Look after yourself.

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  24. KateAugust 31, 2012 at 5:38 AM

    Sending you positive thoughts and lots of love. Can't wait to hear your news.

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  25. KatyAugust 31, 2012 at 6:17 AM

    Sending peace, strength and every good thought your way. I will definitely be on the lookout for your good news throughout the weekend!

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  26. TashAugust 31, 2012 at 6:27 AM

    Thinking of you and baby girl. Sending you so much love Renel! xx

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  27. JanetAugust 31, 2012 at 7:24 AM

    Sending love and tons of positive thoughts. You are so close now!

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  28. michelleAugust 31, 2012 at 8:44 AM

    I am thinking of you,xoxoxoxox

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  29. AoifeAugust 31, 2012 at 9:08 AM

    I have chills and goose pimples and all other nervous things happening - and I have everything crossed for a safe arrival of your baby girl. Good luck Renel xx

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  30. Grace's MomAugust 31, 2012 at 11:31 AM

    This little girl will be with you before you know it! I am so glad that you have such good pre-natal care! Waiting anxiously for more updates!

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  31. MollyAugust 31, 2012 at 12:23 PM

    I'm stalking your blog hoping for wonderful news soon!!!! I hope she is here safely by now and you are enjoying her!! Instagram us!!!! ;)

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  32. Mama BearAugust 31, 2012 at 2:35 PM

    Yes, like Molly and this whole community, I've been thinking of you so much and hoping things are going well for you and your precious little girl! I'm looking forward to good news soon!! Of course it should go without saying (but I feel the need to add) that this is YOUR time for your family and while we anxiously await her safe arrival, we will be ready with so much love and support whenever you can update. xoxo

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  33. Pieces of MeAugust 31, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    Oh my god! Sending you calmness in this tense time. Keep breathing, for yourself and that little one. You can do it!

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  34. sarahAugust 31, 2012 at 5:45 PM

    Lots of love to you Renel. You were on my mind all day yesterday (and I was without Internet access). Now I know why. xoxo

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  35. MissingMollySeptember 1, 2012 at 12:04 AM

    Oh! I so hope you and the new babe are doing okay. Anxiously awaiting news, and in the meantime sending LOTS of love. <3

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  36. SGSeptember 1, 2012 at 2:25 AM

    Thinking of you and little baby girl and your whole family <3 and wishing so hard for good things.

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  37. AnonymousSeptember 1, 2012 at 3:29 PM

    Thinking of you, you are in my thoughts x you are so very brave xx xx

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  38. VeronicaSeptember 1, 2012 at 4:29 PM

    Thinking of you Renel!!
    I can't wait to meet this new babe. She's so loved already.

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