I started back to work today. It went really well. I had all new evaluations and the paper work is already stacking up. I enjoyed my work, I smiled, I helped, all my patient's are actually pretty cool...(not assholes like they can be), I got to see people I care about. It was a positive day.
The receptionist told me some news right before my first patient: One of the aides not only was pregnant but HAD her baby 2 weeks ago!!! WTF...that means she was pregnant while I was working there, when Camille died, and pregnant when I came in to say hello to people before returning to work a month ago. NO ONE TOLD ME! and yes, she had a girl. OF COURSE SHE DID. She even hugged me when I came in last time. I didn't even know she was pregnant. She is a little chunky but I don't know if I was too caught up in my grief to notice or what. I understand why she didn't say anything that day. I am saying hi to everyone for the first time since my daughter died and I am crying....probly not the best time to drop the news but....I do have a phone.
Then I find out her daughter is at the hospital because she has some kidney problems and who knows what else. My heart shifts and I am hoping everything is okay for them. I text messaged her and told her I was thinking of her... she will be returning to work and I can not afford for any uncomfortable feelings to be there. Sigh. It just sucks. I am doing well, thinking work will be good, and then I get news like this. I just can't seem to catch a break.