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My second child and our first daughter, Camille, died and was born on June, 30 2011 when I was full term at 38 weeks pregnant. I gave birth to my rainbow baby, a second daughter, on August 31, 2012. This is me trying to figure out how to be a mother to my living son and daughter and function in society after our tragic loss.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Go Out Of Town And Take A Deep Breath

Friday we headed to San Francisco. D is a big Yankees fan and they were playing the Oakland A's so we decided to make a weekend of it. It was the best time I have had in San Fran in a long time.

I grew up in Santa Cruz and I have spent A LOT of time in San Francisco and still don't know my way around. We haven't spent the weekend in SF in a while and it was fun in a totally new and different way with a three year old. There were a lot of firsts this weekend. D got to see the Yankees for his first time, he had awesome seats and he got to see them do batting practice while Kai and I stayed back at the hotel.

We stayed at the Westin St Francis. We have stayed there before but this time we got a SWEET upgrade to a suite. It overlooked union square and the central light fixture was a chandelier, which made me want to upgrade all of the lighting in my house except that we need all the ceiling fans that we have. It was a very large room, big enough to play some baseball in :)


View of Union Square

Chandelier





















That first day we rode on a trolley/cable car and Kai was so excited. We rode down through North Beach and than back to union square. I really enjoyed listening to the trumpet player who set up right down on the corner on union square while I relaxed on the bed and Kai went to sleep.


Yeah...pretty excited!






The next day Kai had some more firsts...We rode the BUS! whoohoo! who knew it was so much fun. I guess no car seat and all the people getting on and off is a total blast when you are three. We rode it down to the Presidio and walked along the Palace of Fine Arts which is really amazing. We spent the next couple of hours at the Exploratorium. I have a lot of really great memories coming here with family, friends and field trips. I think it might be a little better if you are older than 3, but Kai LOVED it. Kids can touch EVERYTHING. After a fun morning we went back for a much needed nap (well I needed one anyway)...once again we traveled via BUS (whoohoo!) Kai is very social and was asking fellow bus riders what kind of gum they were chewing and offering his opinion on different subjects- very entertaining.


First Bus Ride



Walking along the Presidio towards the Exploratorium

Exploratorium


Perfectly good drinking fountain water...Kai would NOT drink it even after I demonstrated. The whole concept is that people have strong aversions to ideas in their mind...

Palace of Fine Arts



Later in the evening, after multiple requests, we rode the bus down to the Cow Hollow/Pacific heights area, to walk around and have dinner. We decided on The Brixton which is actually a fairly loud bar, but don't you know when people are drinking and the music is loud, 3 year olds who sing and clang silverware together go completely unnoticed :) For an appetizer we had bagel knots which were completely delicious! I totally thought of Brandy and wondered if I could recreate the deliciousness like she did.

out to eat (notice clanging utensils ready to use)

There was so much walking and exploring to be had this weekend. It was such a nice distraction with all of the anxiety and stress I had last week. We came home yesterday evening and it felt like we had been gone a lot longer. We spent a lot of money this weekend (mostly on food) and have no items to show for it except some great memories....which as you know, are never regrettable. Today we emptied our bank account on a new mattress and bedroom furniture...we are upgrading to a much needed king size bed. Yep we did that instead of a trip to Hawaii UGH! besides I can't fly after the middle of June anyway. (I'll post more about that when we actually get the bed sometime in JULY- geeze backorder!)

And since I married a guy who is constantly DOING things...he and Kai are currently pick axing the back yard to put in a gas line for a BBQ. Sigh...

All this is to say that it was a good weekend and today is a good day. I know this next month leading up to Camille's birthday is going to be really rough... and sometimes we just have to be thankful for the good days because we all know how bad the bad ones are.  Thank you for all of the love sent my way this last week.  



27 comments:

  1. Looks like a great weekend. I love SF and wish it were just a bit closer to me so I could take random weekend trips.

    I totally agree -- gotta enjoy the good times when they happen. The sad times make the good times a bit sweeter now anyway, because they don't happen every day.

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  2. You're so right about enjoying the good days, because those bad ones can sure be tough bastards.

    I know the lead up to the one year mark is tough - but I found that the build up was harder than the actual day itself. Will be thinking about you a lot this next month.

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  3. Such great pics, and a lovely weekend too!! I especially love that cute bump. Next time you're here we should meet up. I'd love to hug you in person. xo

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    1. Are you in San Francisco? Oh How I wish I HAD KNOWN!

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    2. We are across the bridge but I for sure would've come into town to see you!!!!!

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  4. I love the Bay area and often miss California. Thanks for sharing your wonderful weekend. Looking so relaxing. I love me some nice hotel rooms. Traveling with an infant taught me that the Hilton upgrades easily when you mention a baby may cry. ;)

    Food and memories are the best in my opinion... I value that way over stuff. I am sure you could replicate those knots! Also, the king bed is fab. We made the upgrade two years ago and are never going back!

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    1. Brandy~ We are WAY overdue on a new bed. Considering Kai sleeps with us and takes up all the room a king size bed is really going to be a plus. The problem with the upgrade is that not only do we have to buy the mattress but then we need new furniture too. It gets pricey really quick. I actually was going to try that recipe you posted but I DON'T HAVE A MIXER! Dang! and since we don't have any money left (haha) I guess it will have to wait until I can get together with someone else.

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  5. Sounds like a wonderful trip... and love all your photos - you all look so happy :) Thinking of you xoxo

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  6. This is awesome, Renel. I loved seeing these pics and knowing that there was real joy in them. I know there are really hard days to come, because the first birthday (and the lead up) are tough, but you will get through it, and we will help you.
    xo

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  7. I love seeing you smile.. enjoy the moments of beauty mamma.

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  8. Sounds like a fantatsic needed and well deserved trip. I love the trolley pics and the big heart pics.xoxox

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  9. what a fun trip! The weeks leading up to the one year anniversary were really hard, I kept thinking something was going to go wrong with this pregnancy on the same dates or something. I'll be thinking of you!

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  10. What a fun trip!! You look great :)

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  11. (1) You look glamorous
    (2) I would not drink out of that toilet either--Kai knows what he's doing!
    (3) I also want fancy light fixtures at my house except I actually love ceiling fans.
    (4) Glad you had a fun trip. Thinking of you.

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    2. Thanks. I didn't know jeans, t-shirts and tennis shoes qualified as glamorous but I will take it. Cute shoes get trumped by comfort when walking all over the city. :)

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  12. So glad for a fun weekend!

    A trip to Hawaii does sound great, but as crazy as this sounds, we literally smile and sigh contently as we get into bed every night about how much we love our big comfy bed and we've had it for six years!

    The weeks leading up to Bear's birthday (which of course included mother's day and Kirk's birthday) were really hard and I did not expect to feel better after, but I actually do. Obviously not a happy-go-lucky everything is better type of thing, but a quiet sense of relief. I wish you lots of peace!

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  13. You are beautiful Renel. And your Kai is such a sweetheart. I'm glad that you had a good time in SF with your boys. Thinking of you and sending love. x

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  14. Looks like an amazing time. San Francisco is a magical city.

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  15. Looks like such a nice time! <3
    To me it will always be Truman's city, my little Mr. San Franciscan. :) He is definitely in the air there, somehow.
    You look amazing and your bump is adorable! Has anyone ever told you that you look like the DA from law and order a little bit?
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexandra_Cabot
    I think of you whenever i see her on tv. ;P xo

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    1. Oh man you totally found out my day job- (JK) I think my wrinkles do a pretty good job of hiding my inner celebrity...bwahaha
      I highly doubt Ms. Cabot laments an empty bank account after purchasing a king size bed haha

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  16. Oh we are debating getting a king size bed. I really want one! Maybe next year...

    Your vacation looks really fun and you are a beautiful pregnant lady :)

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  17. You look gorgeous, mama! I'm glad you were able to get some R&R. San Francisco is one of my favorite cities. And I love the photos of you guys in front of the hearts, of course. <3

    Thinking of you as sweet Camille's birthday approaches. xoxo

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  18. That looks like a fantastic vacation! Easy and blissful, and your boy is just the sweetest. You look incredible, Renel! xoxox

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  19. OK first of all, you look AMAZING! Really, you are one gorgeous woman!

    But I loved reading about your trip, especially the part about taking the 3 year old to a noisy bar! These are things people don't tell you but are INVALUABLE tips to enjoying a dinner out with a preschooler :)

    Seriously, though, so glad you guys could get away and enjoy each other and relax a bit. Who needs money ;) Lots of love to you, through this month and always.
    xo

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  20. Love the photos! A terrific trip filled with memories for you all as a family...even baby girl who isn't here yet and Camille whose presence is always around.

    Here for you as you come closer and closer to Camille's birthday.

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  21. Your bump is very cute! Great pictures from your vacation! Thinking of you and your little Camille as her birthday gets closer.

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