I talked to my little brother for the second time since Camille died the other day. He doesn't get it...just like everyone else. He doesn't have kids. I know he loves me but he said something stupid... during a slow part of our conversation when he was obviously at a loss for where to go next in a conversation with his sister who's baby recently died. He said "so have you been having a good summer?" SERIOUSLY are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? I said "um NO MY BABY JUST DIED" and he said ..."well yeah but besides that" I actually started laughing...Idiot...I love him...but GEEZE!!
I went to my primary care physicians office the other day to get drops for my eyes, I had an eye infection...probably from rubbing my eyes from crying so much. I haven't been to the doctor in about 2 years. He didn't know I was ever pregnant. He said well your other eye is red too and I said well that's because I have been crying. He asked why...I said my baby died...I told him about Camille...briefly, I just wanted my eye drops. He then proceeded to tell me that it happened to his niece and I should look at the bright side, that it could be worse and then said "if they had delivered her earlier before she died she might have had brain damage and you would have had to deal with a brain damaged child for 50-70 years, would you want that"?? SERIOUSLY- he asked me if I would want a brain damaged baby. Then he proceeded to tell me about a colleague who's daughter just drowned, and his brother who has cancer. I couldn't even believe my ears...he told me it could be worse! MY BABY JUST DIED-- STUPID ASSHOLE! I kept thinking...I am so glad I'm not married to this guy. I didn't even freak out at him. I just wanted him to stop talking and give me my prescription.